Rolling Rocked 5.0

Where do I begin? A question commonly used when telling a long story...I answer this question by saying "At the friggin beginning". For the third time in the past four years I went to Rolling Rock Town Fair (this is edition 5.0 for those of you who care to know the history of Rolling Rock) held in "scenic" Latrobe, PA. Luckily for everyone involved Latrobe is about 30 mins away from Pittsburgh (which I feel has a bad rep for being a dead city). I have enjoyed my two trips to the 'burgh. So without further ado, I will break down by day my weekend.
FRIDAY: TRAVELLING AND DRINKING...JUST NOT AT THE SAME TIME
I found out something incredible about getting into an accident and having your insurance cover your rental car expenses while needing a car to go to a far off place (for this example I'll use Pittsburgh as a city). SUV's are great for road trips and 4 wheel driving. You can fit a people and luggage in an SUV for a long trip while in a Civic you can think either one or the other while the other one may get tied up to the bumper like the dog in National Lampoon's Vacation. Oh and a little sidenote on Friday’s trip: It RAINED AND RAINED AND RAINED AND RAINED! What’s the deal with the weather? I mean is this the day after tomorrow? Biblical weather I tells ya. After arriving in Pittsburgh I proceeded to notice the lack of people in the city. I mean when you go to Philly even on the weekends there are people around. There aren’t any here! None! Went to a couple of bars (one of which Paul’s friend, Wubba works). Yes his name is Wubba...and he’s not a Chewbacca. After a few drinks I felt adventurous....so I stole the big plastic pair of glasses that were resting on a statue of a guy in a cigar bar. Yeah I know I’m a rebel without a cause…or is that clue? After that my body started rejecting the fact that I was still awake at 1 AM after waking at 5AM…so at that point I went into emergency shutdown and started passing out standing up. After being approached by a man who “I need money so I can buy antifreeze for my car”, I wait a minute. Did you read that quote “I need money so I can buy antifreeze for my car” That’s original considering its 130AM in the summertime! What places sells anti-freeze in the city at 130 AM? None! I do know places that will sell stuff that would probably have the same effect that anti freeze would have on you if you drank it though!
SATURDAY: ROLLING ROCK TOWN FAIR 5.0
After waking up with an all to familiar tongue stuck to the top of my mouth feeling, I ran downstairs to read a paper while everyone else slept. Yeah, I can’t sleep past 7-8 in the morning so I was up. I guess we got to Rolling Rock sometime between 11-1130…I honestly don’t remember. I just remember thinking that one lane into a concert is bad. Tailgating was great, we drank and chilled…but the star of the show was “Random Really Piss Ass Drunk Guy” We saw this man stumbling towards our area about 30 mins or so after we started drinking (note he came from a car that started tailgating there after we did) and it was like watching a plane go down. “He’s stabilizing, keep the flaps up, oh no he’s going down, watch out for that car…oh the humanity!” Unfortunately for this guy his friends are basically the definition of “With Friends Like That Who Needs Enemies”. This guy was obviously seriously messed up, but instead of walking him to first aid, they poor alcohol on his passed up body and take pics with him. It almost reminded me of when the soldiers were taking pics of Iraqi soldiers. I guess the guy ended up being ok, because he wasn’t on the ground when we left. The concert again kicked ass…apparently Finch and Disturbed fought on stage…but I missed it because I was tailgating. Disturbed had an awesome set, as did Staind and N.E.R.D…I didn’t like Crystal Method…I need lyrics people lyrics! Club music is ok in a club, but on a grassy knoll?
Finally came Velvet Revolver…I liked STP and I like GNR…I don’t know yet about VR. If ever a situation brought up the quote off Blink’s live album “you can beat the traffic, or you can beat your meat” it was this band. I think a good 1/3 of the audience left throughout their set. They played 2 new songs while we were still in there and they both sucked. Apparently afterwards they played some STP and Guns cover songs and their single on the radio (which I actually like). But it was kinda sad watching all the people leave for the headlining band. Then of course there was Soott Weiland who must have stickiest of the icky behind stage cause he was MESSED UP. At one point after a song he went on a 2-3 min speech about how “Locusts and Mosquitoes are sucking the joy out of his family” Who is this guy, Jesus? Locusts? I don’t get it…everyone just kind of looked at each other and without saying anything understood exactly what everyone else was thinking “what the fucking hell is he talking about?” After the concert I learned the effectiveness of a 4X4 Jeep. Without my rental car I would have been stuck in the mud with the ol’ Civic.. I guess fate does intervene. I just wish fate hadn’t caused $3400 in damage to my car. I guess that’s why they say “Fate can be cruel”.
SUNDAY: PACK UP YOUR SHIT AND RUN
Ah the day to go home…but not without taking a walk around beautiful PNC Park, home of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Scary moment: Paul and I walked around in what would be the pavilion area right next to the stadium…we just walked around the area and looked around, the inside of the stadium only a chain link hop away. Now, I’m not a terrorist, but to me this is kind of scary because someone could just walk in there and plant something. It’s sad to think like that, but those be the sign of the times. After that we took off to FATHEADS, which is an awesome place to eat and or drink. Well I can only assume about the drinking part because I had to drive home. But the food was greasalicious. So after the 5 hour drive home….I simply crashed on the couch….my muddly clothes and shoes await cleaning. Another great reason to have a rental car, you can store your smelly, muddy clothes there till you have time to clean them, instead of bringing them into the apartment. Also, I brainstormed the idea that we should start initiating a homeless person exchange program…start moving them from city to city. I came up with the idea when the guy asked me about the antifreeze, and then I remember “Superman with AIDS” from Philly…I think that would be a great swap! Alright I’m out of here. Lesson Learned this weekend: Don’t do heroin. Thanks to Scott Weiland for that one!