The Night The Car Went Down In Ewing….and other blogworthy materials. 
 
Just when I thought I would get out of debt…they pulled me back in.  That was my cynical attitude when I first got into my accident; my insurance company meanwhile gave me no good reason to change my tone.  I’ll go into all this later, but first I’ll describe the crime scene.  So I met up with Kris and Lynn to hang out and you know chill.  Watched some TV, bitched about the Sox, and got a bite to eat.  After that I saw that it was getting past my bedtime (940…yeah you read right, I like to go to bed by 10-1030, but I need some time to wind down).  Ok that last sentence wasn’t really needed, it just shows how much of a loser I am!  I decided to travel home via Olden Ave…better known as “the beautiful Olden Avenue corridor”.  The only thing lovely about  Olden Avenue is that they built one of those new Shoprite that has so much excellent premade food.  Anyway, I  got to the point in Olden where they are repaving it.  Unfortunately when I road has train tracks going across it, they do not remove the concrete surrounding the tracks.  They causes a large bump to form.  Now, say you were changing a CD, and traveling at  oh why  don’t we say 30-35 mph. You missed seeing the “BUMP” sign.  You hit said bump going at said speed and you get in said accident.  Even though the front of your car has no damage to it, your airbags deploy, your passenger side airbag doesn’t actually go towards where the passenger would be sitting, but instead shoots into the windshield thereby causing it to take on the appearance  one of Spiderman’s web.  Your car is drivable, but never having been in an accident before..wink wink, you panic, pull over, wet yourself, and call your friends to come and pick you up.  So after you get off the phone with your friends to come and take you to the hospital, you realize your wrist is bleeding and its got this huge bump right underneath the cut, only it isn’t a bruise, it feels like some blood building up.  Well, since you have nothing sanitary to put on the wound, you simply apply pressure with your other hand.  ( Editor’s Note:  Luckily my love life was saved since it was only my left wrist) .  Luckily Lynn and Kris soon arrived and Lynn had papertowels in the car.  My hand started feeling sort of numb in the fingertips, but I wasn’t that worried since we were about 3 mins from a hospital.  They triaged me fairly quickly then I really didn’t wait around that long to get to see the doctor….by ER standards.  Is it just me, or do you expect to see Eriq LaSalle’s super glow hair cut and grimacing face anytime you enter an ER?  So I only ended up having an abrasion, some chemical burns from the airbag, and some bruises.  The swelling around the cut went down, and I didn’t look like I had Popeye wrists and longer.  After completing the police report and waiting for mom to come on up, I was back behind the wheel of my beleaguered Civic.  I will say that the Civic after and accident still drives better than the Maxima was. 

You’re not in safe hands with Allstate, they’re putting a fist up your cornhole

Every month I’m reminded about how much my insurance company sucks.  The bill comes in and I say “Jesus Christ on a crutch”,   However, now I’ve reached a new hell with my insurance company which is the “Holy Fucking Moses” part.  My insurance company doesn’t call back.  I left 3 messages before I got a call back from who I should take my car to so I can get the damage estimated.  It’s a fine line to decide if you’ve called to much or if you haven’t called enough.  But none of this should happen, because the insurance company should call you back the FIRST TIME.  So after explaining the accident, they decided not to look into the accident, even though I told them that my neighbor had told me that at least 5  people have had accidents there in the past year.  You know, you wouldn’t want to investigate the state and have the possibility of collecting some money from them instead of ass-raping me.  No, instead of paying you $4000 to do nothing for me, I’ll soon be paying you  more than $4000 to do nothing.  Happy times are here again.  Do I sound angry?  Well I am.  The don’t explain things properly, they don’t set up a rental car for me until I force the issue,  and they don’t help me out!  ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH.  I missed work with all this going on, and I’m told that I will get a call back and don’t.  Oh well, I’ll be searching for a new insurance company as soon as this mess is settled. 
I got a Jeep Liberty as my rental car…I gotta say I’m disappointed…I was looking forward to bitching about getting a Plymouth Horizon ;)  The only bad thing I can say about the car is that it is a gas guzzling beast…I guess I just got used to the Civic. 
Today, Friday, I’m on a plane heading to sunny Florida.  My cousin is getting married, and I’m on a free ride.  All I can think of when I fly is two things. 

Family Guy Stewie singing “Rocket Man” ala William Shatner’s version:  She packed my bags, pre-flight, zero hour…and I’m going to get hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh as a kite. 

Adam Sandler singing “This is ground  control to Major Tom…”  in Mr. Deeds. 

Gotta go, getting ready to land.