Can I Get a (Jehovah) Witness and Unicycles

Not much to write about, so I'll keep it simple. On Saturday I had two incidents that I found extremely intersting and or ironic.

First was the visit by the Jehovah Witnesses. I usually check my peephole before I answer the door, but for some reason I just didn't on Saturday. I was busy watching Caddyshack enthralled by the "cinderella story". Unfortunately, that's when Curt and Tim decided to show up. The only thing when I saw two middle aged white guys holding bibles is "FUUUUUUUUUCK, there goes 20 mins of my life". Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with religion of any kind, but I'm at home and this is my private space. I know there are churches out there, and I know there are many kinds. I pray every night, but I don't believe in going to church every week as a ritualistic attitude. I believe that going or not going to church has no bearing on your character or kindness. If you NEED church that badly to decide if you are good or bad, you're not a good person, you're just scared that somebody with a big thunderbolt is ready to smite you so you behave. Anyway, they ended up talking about Jehovah or something for awhile..then I realized I left Caddyshack on blaring in the background and it got to the point where the bishop got struck by lightning and then later on no longer believes in God. Just found ironic with the Witnesses on my doorstep.

Next, on my way to work I saw a grown man riding a unicycle down the road. Yes, I said a unicycle. I didn't realized unicycling was a form of exercise until then, and the next thing I had to be careful of was this guy:




That's all folks!

An Apple A Day...

In my ongoing attempt at better health and weight loss i changed many things about my diet.
Instead of my usualy pizza and soda lunch or something to that affect, one meal a day is usually light and healthy. Fruit and a protein bar, or fruit/diet soda/small snack, etc. Today was no different. Let's take a quick inventory check of what I left with from home at 630 in the morning.
1. A Diet Orange Soda
2. An Apple
3. A roast pork on wheat roll sandwhich.

After a 10 minute commute, I took a restock of the inventory. Same items went into the fridge at work.

5.5 hours later I arrived ready to eat my small but satisfying lunch. I took the inventory again:
1. Diet orange Soda
2. Roast Pork
3???????

The apple had mysteriously disappeared. Now I know in these uncertain times when gas prices are higher than blow, some rules may change and some things may become more valuable then others. I hardly see a future where the strength of the Yen is dependent on a Golden Delicious apple. It also got me thinking who would steal an apple over a BBQ'd piece of pork? i've come the conclusion you may have to be the lowest form of humanity to knowingly steal a person's apple. I mean c'mon an apple. They grow on TREES! Who knows, maybe Johnny Appleseed needed some fresh ideas, but at least the remainder of the lunch kicked ass.

POOP!

Remember me Eddie?

Like one of Bing Crosby's kids, my Civic continues to take a beating. After last Thursday's incident that makes 3 accidents in one year for the Silver. That's right 3, we all remember the infamous road bump incident last July, followed by the Civic being backed into by some family in May, finally I got hit on the side by some lady cutting through a parking lot. Do I not see the bullseye on my car? Am i missing something? At least I know the last two accidents had nothing to do with being my fault, so I'm not a bad driver, I just pick bad spots and times to drive.
After getting the lady's insurance information, I quickly saw the address was located in Orlando Florida. The last person that hit me was going to Orlando, so I quickly concocted the theory that I should not go anywhere near Orlando (of for that matter Tony Orlando) because there will be nothing left of my car next time. Whether I happen to get in the path of some dip and get hit by a maniacal toon vehicle, or end up getting chased by weasels, no good can come out of this....

There and Back Again...

Wow,
I honestly can't believe it's been well over a month since I last blogged, but I have been busy and my computer turned into a complete piece since I last blogged. With that in mind, I purchased a new computer so as to actually sit down in read emails in 10 minutes as opposed to 10 minutes it takes to load an email. Anywho, onto the main reason for this blog.

The Return Of The McCauley...to NJ

Had an awesome time when I was up in NJ. Ian and Shanna's wedding completely rocked. And I made it through the wedding fully clothed and with my dignity somewhat intact. Score one for the Irish guy! Seriously, congratulations to Ian and Shanna and thanks for the portable cooler and personalized beer stein. Both will be used plenty. There was so many great moments at the wedding, it's impossible to list them all, so I won't even try (Note: impossible to list or is it that after you drink 7 or so gin and tonics in a pint glass, do you just not remember clearly?). Just seeing all the friends I haven't seen in 5-6 months was great, and you're all welcome to visit whenever you want (Except Alex, we're keeping the smell in NJ, thank you).

I'm going to attempt to recap the visit as best as possible while at the same time, not going overly into detail, so I can avoid boring the average reader (ie: Jon).

Sunday: The Phillies Game and Wedding Crashers
If you want to catch mediocrity in a bottle, a Phils game is the place to be! Where else can you watch a team that should be measureably better slug it out with a San Diego team that treats first place like a hot potato? Ok, maybe Shea Stadium. But it was good to see what a great park they built there in Philly, now only if the team could follow suit. After that it was off to Jon's for some kick ass eggplant parm with him and the future Mrs. Chain. There's been no doubt that Jon's found a winner, just add cooking to Jackie's great qualities. After that, it was off to Wedding Crashers which can be summed up in two words if you've seen it: Hot Route!

Monday: And on the 3 consecutive day of less than 5 hours of sleep, he rests. Nothing exciting here, just your average lazy "recovering from too much drinking" day.

Tuesday: Off to the beach, Belmar style! Hung out with Kristin and Kerri for most of the day, although I do remember sitting around watching the former book a trip for awhile! Hehe, what happened to the beach? Besides chilling old school with the gals of country club, we managed to have a classic Jersey Beach moment. Hanging out by the water we noticed kids playing with a couple items that rolled up with the surf. Now knowing the Jersey beach, do you have any guesses? Got It? You were correct if you guessed unopened condoms! That's right Trojan Man is going aquatic baby! Personally, I think the Jersey shore's new slogan should be: You Want Clean? Fugghetaboutit.

Wednesday: Again a lazy day, just sat around in anticipation of the folks taking me out to dinner. Bahama Breeze in Cherry Hill gets a thumbs up from me! Oh and I stopped by the Hanover Lake jobsite from my previous job, go government funds! Seriously, that is a marked improvement from what it first looked like.

Thursday: Off to Finnegan's Wake to see Kristen and the Noise, and to enjoy* the $1 Coors bottles. Stopped at McFadden's for Dinner, bought a bacherlorette a drink, after her friends had been asking us to hang with them all night. Immediately after she had my drink, they exited. What's up with that? Guess I shouldn't openly order a Roofie Cocktail...just kidding ma! Let me say one thing about Kristen and the Noice (local cover band). They bring the noise and they bring a hot lead singer named Kristen who flails all over the place. If you haven't seen them, check her...err them out. After the Wake, it was off the get a good ol' cheesesteak...mmm, I miss them boys, but my heart doesn't.

*How does one enjoy Coors Light?

Friday: Another recovery day, hey it's my first vacation in two years damnit!

Saturday: The BBQ to end all BBQs. An awesome time, that was made better by the great people and great stories that accompanied it. I'll have a huge thank you section at the end of this blog, but a special thanks to those who made the BBQ possible especially: Regina (Queen of the Ribs), Jon and Jackie. The food was so good, it still makes my mouth water from 900 miles away. Oh, Jon and Jackie switched some rooms around from my first visit 6 days earlier, but you know what open up that one room? A big screen TV! I'm trying to help ya, big guy!

Sunday: A fourteen and half hour drive.....Who's got road rage? I do, I do!


Thanks for the Memories: These are just in the order i remember them, they're in no order of importance except for my folks and sis, who are the most important in my life.

Ian And Shanna

Jon and Jackie (you're next!)

Regina

Ribs

BBQs

Weddings

Crashing Weddings

Personalized beer stein!

The internal combustion engine (where would I be without you?....No seriously I'd probably be in Virginia right now trying to get my horse home)

The TCNJ crew

Rest Stops

Rocky, the family dog who is down to his last 5 teeth.

Homemade Guac!

Pat's Cheesesteaks

Kristen and The Noise

The Beached Trojan Man

Mom, Dad, and Kailin...You all mean more to me than you could possibly imagine!

And Finally, the Dwight D. Eisenhower Highway Interstate System!


Well that's it. My week in NJ. If I missed seeing any of you, I'm sorry. I'll be up next year, and there's always a place in Florida, but who would want to visit here? I mean honestly? G'day mates!